I thought I would share a few thoughts that have been taking up space in my head over the last year.
- I cannot handle anything sad. When I hear about a baby that is gravely ill or has died, I cry. When I see the bad guy die in one of my favorite TV shows, I cry. I cannot handle sad news, so I just avoid it. As soon as the story takes a turn for the worse, I turn it off and try to think of something happy.
- I have more confidence than ever before and am scared to death a lot of the time. Having Anna made me realize that I can do anything I want to do. No, I cannot sing the National Anthem at the Superbowl, some things are gifts that I was not given, but I feel like I can set goals and achieve them. I do not know if this is because if I can accomplish having a baby, and then keeping her alive and well for one year, I can really do anything. Or, if I want to show Anna that she too can do anything she sets her mind too. It is weird to feel empowered, yet scared, all at the same time. For example, I love to travel and I cannot wait to show Anna the world, but as soon as I get to the airport I go into freak-out mode!
- It is alarming how many times I have left the house only to realize that Anna and I totally match.
- I am obsessed with getting the perfect picture for each and every moment of Anna's life. This is not the way to enjoy those moments. Also, I have very few pictures of me and Anna as a result.
- I cannot make a decision to save my life. I feel like everything I decide has these huge, earth-shattering consequences that will stay with us for years. In reality, they probably don't.
- And those are my thoughts, for now. Here is picture that Kyle took!
Moms are particularly bad at having pictures of them and their child(ren). It's a fact that I've heard discussed. We mostly avoid the camera with our child because we "don't look our best" when our kids are doing something fun, etc. So.....get better at handing the camera to Kyle or some one else when there's someone around. We will practice at Christmas!
ReplyDeletePhotos of you and Anna are priceless for you and her.