Thoughts from a New Mom

Now that Anna is one-year, I feel like she is not the only one that deserved a party.  I also survived my first year as Mom, where's my party?

I thought I would share a few thoughts that have been taking up space in my head over the last year.

• I cannot handle anything sad.  When I hear about a baby that is gravely ill or has died, I cry.  When I see the bad guy die in one of my favorite TV shows, I cry.  I cannot handle sad news, so I just avoid it.  As soon as the story takes a turn for the worse, I turn it off and try to think of something happy.
• I have more confidence than ever before and am scared to death a lot of the time.  Having Anna made me realize that I can do anything I want to do.  No, I cannot sing the National Anthem at the Superbowl, some things are gifts that I was not given, but I feel like I can set goals and achieve them.  I do not know if this is because if I can accomplish having a baby, and then keeping her alive and well for one year, I can really do anything.  Or, if I want to show Anna that she too can do anything she sets her mind too.  It is weird to feel empowered, yet scared, all at the same time.  For example, I love to travel and I cannot wait to show Anna the world, but as soon as I get to the airport I go into freak-out mode!
• It is alarming how many times I have left the house only to realize that Anna and I totally match.
• I am obsessed with getting the perfect picture for each and every moment of Anna's life.  This is not the way to enjoy those moments.  Also, I have very few pictures of me and Anna as a result. 
• I cannot make a decision to save my life.  I feel like everything I decide has these huge, earth-shattering consequences that will stay with us for years.  In reality, they probably don't.
• And those are my thoughts, for now.  Here is picture that Kyle took!