Things My Husband Says

Kyle:  I may have let out a little fart in front of Anna.  She said, "Daddy pooped!"
Me:  hahaha.  I am sure it wasn't little.

Things my Husband Says

Out to dinner for our anniversary.

Katy:  What are going to get?
Kyle: The lamb burger.
Katy:  You are going to eat a baby sheep!?!
Kyle:  Yes.  It's so tender because they're so tiny.
Katy:  !?!?!
Kyle:  Well, they don't call it a sheep burger.

 

Things My Husband Says

Kyle:  Look how well I can do a handstand, and look how good my butt looks!

Things My Husband Says

I am off this Friday and I am contemplating taking Anna to day care so I can get some Christmas shopping done at the mall.  I am feeling a bit guilty about it though and I really enjoy our one-on-one time.
 
Kyle:  But just think about how efficient you will be.  You can use the escalators!  

Things My Husband Does

Pours Cinnamon Toast Crunch into a tub of Cool Whip and eats it.

Things My Husband Says

Not to brag, but many times when we are out with Anna, strangers will comment on how beautiful, cute, darling, etc. she is...

Me:  Do you think Anna really is that pretty or is that just what everyone says about babies?
Kyle:  I think she is really that pretty.  I just hope she isn't peaking too early. 

Things My Husband Says

While looking at my driver's license picture:

Kyle:  Were you pregnant when this was taken?
Me:  No.

Things My Husband Does

Kyle surprised us while I was taking pictures of Anna yesterday.  Now, I hope to surprise him by actually posting this.

 

Things Other People's Husbands Say

Lady at Anna's Daycare:  My husband told me to eat something healthy for lunch today.
Me:  ouch.

Things My Husband Says

Kyle:  I may have a lot of problems, but depression is not one of them.  Although, I do get sad when I am surrounded by stupid people. 

Things My Husband Does

The laundry!  

He even puts Anna's diaper covers in my pile of underwear because, yes, my butt could be that small.

Things My Husbands Says - Part whatever

On our way to work this morning.

Me:  saying something totally funny, although probably not on-topic
Kyle:  I'm too tired to deal with you today.  I'm putting on my sunglasses and ignoring you.

He didn't.

Things Other People's Husbands Say

Overheard while at the nurse's station...

Woman to her friend:  I needed my husband to take snacks into day care, so I sent him a text.
             Her text:  Bring the cooler.  It is full of snacks
             His text:  I didn't know what your text meant, so I didn't bring the cooler.
Me (in my head):  Poor woman. 

Things My Husband Says

Me:  Let me take your picture.  Anna looks so cute sleeping on your chest.
Kyle:  Make sure you cannot see my nipples.

Things My Husband Says - 6

Kyle was going to pick me up at a metro stop.  Really, the fact that he was nice enough to pick me up should keep me from actually posting this...

Me:  Where should I meet you?
Kyle:  When you exit the train, go straight out towards the space man and exit Constitution.
Me:  The space man?  Do you mean astronaut?
Kyle:  No, space man.  (pause) This is going on the blog isn't it.

Photo Source

On further investigation, the picture is actually of a dog.  I guess we were both wrong.

Things My Husband Says - 5

My dad recently had a run-in with a deer.  My dad is fine, but the deer and the car did not make it.

Me:  My dad bought the 2011 Mercedes c300.
Kyle (without even blinking):  The 2011 version does not have the emblem sticking up off the hood that he likes that much.
Me:  How on earth do you know that?
...
Kyle:  Does it have navigation?
Me:  I don't know, I didn't ask.
Kyle:  How could you not ask?

Things My Husband Says - 4

Our neighbor showed up at our door with West Virginia mints, since LSU was playing West Virginia that evening.

Me:  That is so funny!
Kyle:  I would NOT eat those.

Things My Husband Says - 3

Back in graduate school, my sister was having trouble with her computer, so we called Kyle to get some help.  He is usually very good with computers.

Me:  Erin is having trouble with xyz on her computer, what should we do?
Kyle:  I don't know.
Me:  Oh, well you are no help then.
Kyle:  Well, maybe if you had asked me a different question, then I would have known the answer.
Me:  ?

Things My Husband Says - 2

Ok, maybe this was not the exact conversation, but I remember it went something like this:

Me:  We're pregnant!
Kyle:  Can we add a new stove and microwave to the baby registery?
Me:  No.

That being said, if anyone is up for it, we would like this and this to match the rest of our appliances but now have no money to buy.

Things My Husband Says

I have been thinking about writing these posts for a while, since my husband can be very funny sometimes without even trying; however, I do not want to offend him or hurt his feelings or publically humiliate him.  Then I figured I only get about three readers each day, and those people already love and respect Kyle as much as I do, so it should be fine.  Here it goes...

Conversation while walking the dog, the day before my husband was headed out of town:

Kyle:  You know, we cannot take the car to the usual car wash since we put the bike racks on.
Me:  Noted.
Kyle:  So, if you were thinking of washing the car this week, you will have to do it by hand.
Me:  I wasn't.